


Angels Don't Sleep [Destiel]

by allthingsangelic



Category: Supernatural
Genre: CURRENTLY EDITING THE LIVIN SHIT OUTTA THIS, Cas and Dean are married, Dean punches Sam, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel One-shot, Happy Ending, Hunting a Djinn again, M/M, Sam enters Castiel's dreams, Sam punches Dean, Some angst, and ooh lah lah what does he see?, angel grace, angst with happy ending, dean enters Castiel's dreams, djinn dean, fake Dean - Freeform, first chapter is crappy, first destiel fic, well at least in castiel's dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-06-09 19:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6919663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthingsangelic/pseuds/allthingsangelic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel wakes up in a strange house that feels oddly familiar, along with Dean looking at him too softly and adoration just a tad bit too obvious in his gaze. It's unsettling for Castiel and makes him feel skeptical. But what if this really was reality and bursting the bubble would destroy it all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Could Never Be

**Author's Note:**

> UPDATE: [6/27/16] I'll post part two within the week. My apologies, school just really sucks rn. Also, I'll be editing part one since I feel like the entire thing's garbage.
> 
> (Also available on wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/72580689-what-could-never-be )

 

*****

Cas woke up and immediately jolted upright, realizing that he fell asleep on the couch. But as he looked around, he froze. He wasn’t at the bunker anymore. The sounds of the television, slightly startling him as he reach for the remote to turn it off. He stood up and stumbled upon a few misplaced things before he was finally able to get to the supposed kitchen of this mystery house he was at.

He palmed his pockets to check for his phone, groaning when he felt nothing. That was when he realized he wasn’t wearing his usual trench coat and suit combo, rather, he was just wearing an oversized shirt that suspiciously wasn’t his and a pair of boxers.

Instinctively, he reached out for a kitchen knife before continuing to search around the house. He held the knife close as he walked up the stairs, wincing as it groaned in protest with every step he took.

Castiel’s body tensed when he heard the creaking of a door as he was midway up to the second floor. He was already in his defense position when he sensed the footsteps of the stranger growing closer.

“Cas?”

Cas felt himself drop the knife and look back at the man in front of him with both curiosity and relief.

“Dean?”

Dean walked the remaining half of the stairs to meet Cas, he gently placed his warm palm on Cas’ cheek, somewhat startling the angel. He couldn’t help but lean into his touch, his touch so confident as if he’s done this a lot of times before. Dean looked at him in the eye, Cas noticed the softening of his features as a concerned look masked Dean’s face.

“What’s wrong, babe? I woke up and you weren’t with me in bed.”

Cas was confused and he could feel his head spinning. Nothing made sense. His eyes looked back to where he dropped the knife, Dean followed his gaze.

“Why were you holding a knife?” Dean asked and Cas didn’t miss the fear behind his voice.

Cas had to think quick, “I uh… I thought I heard something strange in the house.”

Dean visibly let out a sigh of relief before shooting Cas a reassuring smile, “Nothing strange in the house, Cas.” He placed a soft kiss on Cas’ lips. It was short, but it was the closest he got to feeling Dean’s soft lips.

 _You’re not Dean,_ Cas had wanted to say so badly, but how could he? He was trapped in some kind of spell under Dean’s gaze and lips.

“Come back to bed with me?”

The angel didn’t know how to respond, he just stared back at Dean wide-eyed, before slowly nodding his head. Dean’s smile soon turned into a grin and Cas had to catch his breath – his smile was beautiful.

Dean held one of Cas’ hand in his as he led them upstairs into their room. Cas was still staring at Dean as he removed his shirt. Dean smirked when he noticed him.

“Like what you see?” He chuckles, but his smirk falters once he noticed that Cas was just staring at him with a wistful look. Dean walked back to him and snaked his arms around Cas’ waist, a concerned look once again over reigning his features.

“Are you okay?”

 Cas wasn’t stupid, it only took one look at Dean’s adoring, love-filled gaze to know that he wasn’t the real Dean. Yet somehow, Cas didn’t care.

Their fingers interlocked with each other and were raised to their chests for both of them to see. Cas had to suppress a gasp and hold back tears when he noticed identical rings on either of their hands.

_They were married._

Cas’ mind felt even hazier, but he smiled with equal – if not more – adoration back at Dean. “I’ve never felt better.”

Dean’s breathtaking smile was there again as he held the back of Cas’ neck before capturing his lips in another kiss. Cas felt himself melt into Dean’s arms, it amazes him how perfectly their bodies seem to fit. Dean backs them up until Cas could feel the edge of the bed, both of them not breaking the kiss. Dean places both of his hands on Cas’ back to support him while Dean lays both of them down on the bed gently.

They part for air and Dean props himself slightly up using his hands. He stares at Cas with those damn green eyes filled with love and adoration for the man underneath him. “I love you,” Dean whispers to Cas like it was a secret; like it was meant only for the two of them.

Cas wasn’t able to prevent the tears from spilling this time, they flow freely from his eyes down to the side of his face. Dean frowns and wiped them away using his thumbs. “Did I say something wrong?”

Cas gasped for air before replying, “No,” he laughed, all past pain leaving his chest leaving room only for love. “No,” he repeated, before quickly turning them over so that he was on top. He peppered Dean’s face with sweet kisses, whispering _“I love you, I love you, I love you,”_ over and over again between each kiss like a mantra.

Dean chuckled, somewhat ticklish. He cupped Cas’ cheeks with his hands once he stopped kissing him. They stared at each other again – it must be their thing – and Dean caresses his cheeks saying, “Beautiful.”

Cas’ chokes back a sob, not wanting to seem suspiciously emotional all of a sudden. He felt his heart beating rapidly inside his chest because Dean’s here, they’re together, they’re happy, Dean loves him. _Dean loves him_.

He couldn’t seem to believe or even wrap his head around the idea, but there they were, happy, and Dean’s smile was gorgeous, and he loves him. Cas was loved.

They fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, surrounded by each other’s body heat. And just before Cas closed his eyes, he stared at Dean’s sleeping figure before smiling and wrapping his arms tighter around the man he loved.

Nothing seemed more perfect than that moment.

 

*****

A ray of sunlight bled through the windows at the places that the curtains weren’t able to block. Cas was removed from his slumber when the ray of sunlight was directed to his eyelids. He frowned and scrunched his nose, silently cursing the glaring sun for disturbing his sleep. He blindly searched for Dean’s body on his side of the bed, his eyes opening wide when his hand came in contact with the sheets. He sat up from the bed, immediately regretting it when he felt his blood pressure drop, causing him to feel dizzy. No, no, no, _no_.

He forced himself to ignore his sudden headache and stood up on his feet, using the wall as support as he left the room. His brain was still hazy from just waking up and he was in too much of a state of panic that he didn’t even stop to think about how the _hell_ he actually fell asleep in the first place – angels don’t sleep.

The thought of it all just being a dream was too painful for Cas to even think of. But then again, he was still in the house. Their home. Maybe it wasn’t a dream after all. The relief Cas felt didn’t last long when his mind thought of much worse things, _what if Dean left him?_

But that thought was thrown out of the window when Cas heard noises in the kitchen, and that was the only time he noticed the smell of bacon in the air.

He slowly padded his way to the kitchen, holding his breath in anticipation. He entered the kitchen and immediately let out a sigh of relief when he saw the familiar mop of sandy blonde hair. Cas walked towards Dean, wrapping his arms around his waist before placing a kiss on his neck. He could feel Dean chuckle before turning around to kiss him on the lips. Cas breathed out a contented sigh after they part their lips, staring at Dean in awe, as if Cas couldn’t believe that he was here. _He’s still here_.

“I love you,” Cas said with as much sincerity he could muster. He wouldn’t mind having to repeat the words over and over with every minute he spends with Dean, as long as he was with him, everything was alright.

Dean kisses him on the forehead, his nose, and both of his cheeks before finally kissing him again on the lips. He let their foreheads press against each other, Cas smiled while closing his eyes. He lets out a laugh when he felt Dean brush their noses together.

“Get the plates, I’ll serve breakfast in a while.” Dean said and Cas nodded and that was when he noticed,

“Nice apron,” he winked at Dean. Dean blushed, his freckles becoming more evident and Cas just wanted to melt at his _husband’s_ adorableness. 

Dean rolled his eyes playfully, “Shut up, you love it.”

“I actually do,” Cas laughed, getting plates for both him and Dean and setting them on the dining table.

Dean soon followed him minutes later with a plate of freshly cooked bacon, “With extra grease, just how you like it.”

“You mean, how _you_ like it,” Cas teased.

Dean pouted, “Touché.”

The aroma of bacon filled Cas’ senses, his mouth watering as he took one and bit it. “These are amazing!” Cas moaned, his eyes closing.

“Yeah?” Dean asked, standing next to Cas. “Let me try some,” He said as he snaked one arm around Cas’ waist, the other at his nape before pulling Cas into a more passionate kiss. Cas could feel Dean’s tongue exploring his mouth making him moan once more before they pulled away gasping for air.

“Dean!” Cas squeaked, “I haven’t even brushed my teeth!” he whined, trying to sound annoyed, when truly, he felt like a blushing school girl.

“Mmm,” Dean said, licking his lips. “Yum,” he smiled cheekily as Cas blushed harder, somewhat resembling a tomato.

Cas’ heart fluttered happily in his chest during the rest of their breakfast. They did the usual cliché: wiping excess grease from each other’s mouths, holding hands from across the table, and exchanging words of sweet nothings.

Not long after that, Cas and Dean went to the shower to freshen up. Dean making a comment that they could save more water if they shower together. Cas immediately pushed Dean into the shower room.

Clean, fresh, and dry, Cas basked in the warmth of Dean’s body wrapped around his and inhaled his sweet scent while the two of them were just lazily sprawled on the couch, watching television.

 

A doorbell was what disrupted the two from continuing their TV marathon of Game of Thrones. Cas frowned, wondering who could be visiting them. He slowly unwrapped himself from Dean’s arms, saying that he’d get the door. A minute hasn’t even passed and Cas already misses the warmth of Dean’s body against his. He opens the door and was met with a pleasant surprise,

“Charlie?”

Upon hearing the name, Dean walked towards Cas and smiled at Charlie

“What’s up bitches?” Charlie laughed before hugging both Dean and Cas.

“Hey, Charlie,” Dean greeted, “A bit late, are we?”

Charlie smiled, “Yeah, got caught up in traffic.” She turned to Cas, “So you’re ready?”

Cas tilted his head, “Uh… ready for what?”

Charlie just laughed before playfully punching Cas on the shoulder, “For our shopping day, silly! You promised to accompany me in my comic hunting today, remember?”

“I-I did?”

“Yeah,” Dean replied, “Now go on, you two. I’ll drive by the garage in a while.”

He turned to Cas, “And I’ll,” he kisses him on the nose, “See you later.”

“Ugh, married people.” Charlie rolled her eyes but laughed only a few moments later.

“Shut up, we’re adorable.” Dean said back before giving Cas another kiss.

As the two walked to Charlie’s car, Cas didn’t notice the knowing looks on both Dean and Charlie’s faces.

 

*****

 

The day stretched on with Cas and Charlie driving from comic shop to comic shop, it was dinner time when Charlie finally dropped him off to his house.

“Thanks, Cas! Had a great time today,” Charlie yelled from her car as Cas was about to enter his home.

He turned to her and smiled, “I’m glad you did, we should do this again.”

Charlie shared her agreement before finally driving off. Cas took out his keys and unlocked their front door, frowning when the place was left without any lights on.

“Dean?” Cas called out as he tried feeling for the light switch. Once he flipped the lights on, he looked at the floor to see rose petals forming a path. He followed it and discovered that it led to their dining room. The only source of light in the room was a candle that was placed at the center of the table, creating a relaxing, romantic ambiance. Cas could make out a silhouette of a man as he stepped closer and closer to Cas.

Cas was unable to suppress a gasp when he saw Dean in front of him, holding out a rose, “For you,” Dean smiled.

Cas stared at him in both shock and awe, before slowly reaching for the rose and taking it, “Dean? What is all this?”

Dean took his hand and led him to sit on the chair before sitting on the one across from him. There was food served on the table, and everything looked delicious. Dean took both of Cas’ hands, his thumb rubbing it gently. “Happy 5th year anniversary, Cas.”

“Dean…” was all Cas could whisper as he struggled not to cry right then and there. It didn’t work, though. Tears once again spilled from his blue eyes, making Dean wipe them with his thumbs.

Overwhelmed with such emotion, Cas could only say, “I love you.” Over and over and over again, making sure that Dean hears him. Making sure that Dean could understand him. Making sure that Dean doesn’t forget.

Cas wasn’t able to help himself, he stood from where he sat and tackled Dean in a hug, kissing every inch of his face. He was laughing while crying, he was crazy, but Cas didn’t care.

He let their foreheads rest against each other, just staring into Dean’s sparkling green eyes. They both smile and Dean pulls him into another kiss before ushering him back to his seat. He serves their food and it’s honestly the best thing Cas has eaten, even if it were just burgers – yes, burgers are never off the menu.

Dean leads both of them to their bedroom soon after. And after a bit of persuading, he lifted Cas in bridal style as he walked up the steps, gently placing him on their soft bed. Dean kisses Cas like he’s been thirsty for so long and Cas’ lips were an abundant fountain of water. He leaves no skin untouched, slowly kissing his jaw down to his neck. Cas sighed out of pleasure and content.

Dean took off his shirt before helping Cas with his, they were both only wearing boxers by this time. Dean’s hands trace Cas’ body, as if he was memorizing every curve and every muscle. He covers their half-naked bodies under the blankets, both of them just smiling at each other, panting slightly.

“I love you,” Cas repeats, probably for the millionth time that day, but he doesn’t care, and neither does Dean.

“I love you, too, angel.” He kisses Cas on the nose before Cas turns around to be spooned by Dean.

“Please don’t ever leave me,” Cas suddenly blurts out of the blue, he tenses for a while but relaxes when Dean kisses his shoulder and says, “I won’t. Ever.”

They fall asleep shortly after that.

 

*****

Five days. For five more days, Cas was happy.

On the first day of his second week in his dreams, he woke up next to Dean staring at him, eyes glistening with adoration.

Cas blushes, “Hi,” he says shyly.

Dean kisses him, “Hi,” he chuckles. “You look beautiful while you’re asleep.”

Cas blushes furiously, “And when I’m awake?”

Dean looks at him in the eye, “Beyond gorgeous.”

It’s already been a week, yet Cas still couldn’t help the tears that were once again forming in his eyes. He’ll never get tired of the compliments and of the warm feeling in his chest. He’ll never get tired of just lying in bed with Dean. He’ll never get tired of falling in love with Dean.

The two decide that it’s still too early for them to be up, so Dean turns the other way around, and this time, Cas spoons him. He buries his head between Dean’s neck and shoulder, kissing softly where the two meet causing Dean to let out an appreciative noise. They sleep for three more hours before they sleepily lead each other into the shower.

What they did were just mundane things, but anything mundane turns special for Cas as long as he’s doing it with Dean. They were once again wrapped in each other’s arms while watching TV, well, Dean was watching, Cas wasn’t. He was just enjoying being held by Dean’s strong yet gentle arms.

Once again, it was a doorbell that interrupted their marathon, but this time, Dean was the one to answer the door. Cas was just about ready to fall asleep again when he heard the name,

“Sammy?”

Cas was instantly on his feet and next to Dean, and he saw that sure enough, it was the younger Winchester standing outside their doorstep.

Sam had the same confused face as Cas had, “Dean? Cas?”

Dean seems unfazed with the tension between Cas and Sam. He hugs his brother tightly then pats his shoulder, “I didn’t know you were visiting, come in!”

Sam awkwardly walks into their house, eyeing Cas the whole time. Dean walks into the kitchen but frowns when he sees no beer in their fridge, he sighs and grabs his leather jacket before turning to his husband and his brother, “We’re out of beer, I’ll be quick.” And then he was out.

Cas didn’t dare look at Sam, and the tension in the air was thick enough to be sliced with a knife. Cas felt like throwing up all of a sudden.

“Cas…”

Cas winces at the sadness evident in Sam’s tone. No… no, it wasn’t sadness, it was _pity_. He pays Sam no mind.

“Cas,” Sam repeats, this time with more confidence. Cas sighs in defeat before turning to face Sam.

Sam face softens, “Cas, you do know that all of this isn’t real, right?” he whispers.

Cas felt his whole world crash down and erupt in flames, not because he only realized this now, but because he knew that this was Sam trying to wake him up. But he doesn’t want to. He smiles sadly before replying just as quietly, “I know.”

Sam seems to be surprised by his answer, “Then why are you-”

“Because I don’t care, Sam.” Cas snaps. He breathes out a sigh to compose himself, “I know none of it is real, but I don’t care.”

Sam remains silent, not sure how to answer.

“How did you get here?” Cas asked.

“I drank an African Dream root, then had Dean knock me out,”

“What?”

Instead of answering his question, Sam sighs and turns to properly face Cas, “You do know that the Djinn’s killing you?”

Cas’ shocked face was enough of an answer for Sam. “But how?” He asks, “You said Djinn’s feed on human blood, I’m an angel, Sam.”

“It’s not taking your blood, Cas, the Djinn’s taking your grace, and it’s slowly fading, and it’s killing you.”

It was Cas’ turn to remain silent.

“You have to wake up, Cas. Before it’s too late,”

Tears well up on Cas’ eyes, but this time it isn’t out of happiness. It’s far from that.

“I don’t want to, Sam.”

“Pardon?” Sam couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I said I don’t want to. If it’s killing me the longer I stay here, then so be it. Let me die. At least I’d die happy.”

“Can you even hear what you’re saying?” Sam asked in disbelief.

“Why do you even care whether I live or not, why risk your lives trying to save me?” Cas retorted.

“Because you’re family, Cas! Dean and I care about you. After all you’ve done for us, you’d be crazy to think we wouldn’t take a bullet for you.”

“Exactly, Sam! Haven’t I done enough? Can’t I be selfish just for once?” Cas’ tears were already flowing freely.

“No, Cas. Not like this,” Sam whispered. “We’re gonna fix this, Cas. You’re gonna wake up and then we’ll all talk, then everything will be okay.”

“No, Sam. It’s not that easy.”

Sam remains silent for a while, weighing his words, before replying, “Well, just know that while you’re happy with dream Dean here, the real Dean’s out there, risking his life to save both of our asses.”

Cas tenses once again, “Why, what’s Dean doing?”

“Before he knocked me out, we found out that there were two Djinns in the ruins. He’s left to fight them while I get in your head to wake you up.”

“That idiot,” Cas mutters.

Sam smiles sadly, “You do know that he cares about you?”

Cas doesn’t answer.

Instead, he asks, “Give me one reason why I should leave this place where everything I ever wanted is what I have?”

“Aren’t both Dean and your lives at stake enough of a reason?”

Cas closes his eyes, “If I do want to wake up, and that’s a big if, how will I?”

Sam retrieves an angel blade from the inside of his jacket and hands it to Cas, “If you really are in a dream, then you’ll wake up when you die.”

Cas eyes the angel blade on his hands and grasps it tightly, his whole body shaking. “Please, Sam. Please tell me there’s another way.”

Sam’s heart breaks seeing the once mighty angel like this; so broken, so _torn_.

“Please tell me I can stay,” were the final words of the angel before he finally breaks down and weeps on the floor, bashing his fist on the solid tiles.

Sam looks away, not able to look at Cas, “I- I’m sorry… I can’t.”

The angel’s wailing could be heard from the entire house. It took a moment, but later on the angel was silent, his body shaking like tremors. Sam is by his side, rubbing a comforting hand on the angel’s back. Sam helps him sit on the couch. Cas hiccups as he wipes his tears.

The house was silent again, for a while.

“Fine,” Cas whispers.

Sam’s head immediately shoots up to look at the broken angel, as if to ask if he heard Cas right.

“But I have to talk to him, one last time.”

Sam was about to answer when they heard the creaking of a door, and Dean removing his shoes and switching to his slippers before entering the living room, “Hey, I got us some beer and pie.” Dean said and Cas couldn’t help but slightly smile at Dean’s mention of pie. He hid the angel blade from Dean’s sight so he wouldn’t notice.

Dean shrugs off his jacket and hangs it before facing them, “Come on, I’ll set up the grill and I could make us some stea - Hey… Cas, have you been crying?” Dean asks worriedly before turning to Sam, “Sam, what did I say about chick-flick moments?” he somewhat reprimanded the younger Winchester.

Sam evidently tried to swallow the lump in his throat, not sure how to answer the dream version of his brother. He doesn’t.

“It’s fine, Dean. Can we just… talk?” Cas eyes Sam wearily, “Alone?”

Dean seems worried about Cas’ sudden change of mood but nods anyway before making their way to the kitchen, leaving Sam in the living room. But before the two enter the kitchen, Cas faces Sam before pleading, “When I wake up, please don’t tell Dean.” To which Sam reluctantly nods to.

As soon as they enter the kitchen, Cas kisses Dean hard and desperately on the lips before peppering kisses everywhere on his face. Then he hugs Dean tightly as if he’d fly away if Cas lets go. Who knows? He actually might.

“Cas? I’m worried. What’s wrong, angel?” Dean asked as he wrapped his arms around Cas to return his embrace.

Cas chokes a sob then pulls away from their embrace. He cups Dean’s face and looks at every detail of his face, trying to remember them, trying to memorize them. Because he knows, he knows that when he wakes up, he won’t be able to be this close to him.

“Did you know that freckles are also known as angel kisses?” Cas asked.

Dean was confused by the sudden question but chuckles lightly, “You bastard, so you’re responsible for these.” He said referring to the light brush of freckles covering his face.

Cas laughs lightly, “Mm, but they suit you.” Cas looks at him in the eye, “I love you, Dean.”

Dean frowns, “I love you too, Cas. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Cas smiles sadly, “If you kiss me, I will be.”

Dean’s frown soon turns into a smile as he gently places his lips on Cas’. Cas let’s himself melt into the kiss, Dean’s arms supporting him from falling. He basks in the warmth and the feeling of love, of comfort, of security in Dean’s arms.

When they part from the kiss, Dean smiles sweetly to Cas, “Are you okay now?”

 Cas smiles back at Dean, bitterly, “I am, but in a few minutes I won’t be.”

Dean’s smile falters, “Why?”

Cas cups Dean’ face again with his hands, “I’m in a dream Dean, I knew I was the moment I saw all that love and adoration in your eyes. I knew it was too good to be true.”

Dean shoots Cas a confused look. Cas continues, “At first I didn’t care, even when Sam said that I was dying, but… Dean – the real Dean – is out there, and Sam and I have to help him.”

Dean raised a brow, “Cas, this is real,” he holds one of Cas’ hands that were cupping his cheek, “ _I’m_ real.” He insists. He kisses Cas’ nose “Doesn’t this feel real to you?”

Cas was crying, again. _Damnit_ , he thinks, how many times did he already cry today? The angel was just too _exhausted_. “It does feel real, and it’s the best feeling I’ve ever felt. But they need me, Dean, I’m so sorry.” Cas snaps his fingers and the angel blade is once again in his grasp.

“But I need you…” Dean said, tears were also flowing freely from his green eyes. Cas just let’s out a broken sob. He didn’t know what words to tell the man he loves to help him ease the pain.

“Cas?” Dean whispers, and it breaks Cas’ heart even further, Dean sounds so lost. So _broken_. “You’re leaving me? Why? Am I not enough?”

Cas’ body trembles again, He almost wasn’t able to respond, but he gasped for air, to try and calm himself. It doesn’t work. Instead, he rests their foreheads together and whispers, “You’re not just enough, you’re everything. This is just temporary. I’ll come back to you. I’ll come back home.”

He inches his lips nearer to Dean in what was possibly their last kiss. But before he kisses Dean, he whispers “ _I’ll come back home_.” And as their lips meet, so did the angel blade pierce through Cas’ chest.

 

*****

Sam could only remember vaguely what happened while he was waiting at the living room. It was quiet, but then he heard a high pitched sound, the lights around the entire house flickering, and bright light coming from the kitchen. And then suddenly, he was abruptly woken up.

His mind was hazy, he remembers few details of how he cut Cas free from the restrictions, how he slumped to the floor, how Cas took what was left of his grace, and how Dean almost got killed by the Djinns.

What he does remember was the anger radiating off of Dean’s body as he shouted at Cas. As he shouted at him for letting the Djinn take control of him for so long. As he yelled at him for not waking up sooner. All his anger, Cas took on as he healed the other victims.

Neither did Sam nor Cas say a word.

All the victims survived, thanks to Cas’ powers. But healing the victims took a toll on the angel’s strength. The Winchester brothers escorted them out of the ruins and gave them a safe way back to the nearest town.

After all this was done, Dean’s anger had still not faded one bit. Sam went with Dean to the impala to help his brother cool off, while Cas was left in the ruins and mumbled something about meeting them at the bunker in a while.

When Cas was finally alone, he was left to stare at the two Djinns that lay dead on the floor. He killed one of them, while Dean stabbed the other. He kneeled beside them, looking at the creatures who were able to grant the wish that he had wanted for so long. He felt stupid for wanting to thank them, after all, they did try to kill him, but he did. He wanted to thank them a lot.

He flew back to the bunker, not saying a word to both of the Winchesters and just proceeded to his room and locked himself there.

All the lights were out, and Cas wrapped himself in blankets as he closed his eyes, imagining Dean waiting for him at their house. Their home.

But the dream never did come, and neither did Dean, how could he? **_Angels don’t sleep._**

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cruel ending whoops o: what are your thoughts? I'd love to hear them!  
> Oh, and would you like a part two?
> 
> UPDATE: I'll be adding a part two AND three :) because of this, the title has been changed.


	2. What Might Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean isn't entirely sure if he wants to find out what Sam saw inside of Castiel's dreams. But does he really have a choice when he is forced to enter the angel's head in order to save him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >I'll be posting the chapter banner around this week, so stay tuned for that!  
> >I have yet to proofread this, so I'll be editing this in the next few days. Enjoy part two! ;)  
> > And thank you so much for waiting. Angels Don't Sleep has received so much love, and it's overwhelming, really <3  
> > Also available on wattpad

 

 

It was almost like a normal day at the bunker. Really, waking up at ass o’clock in the morning (was it even considered morning? The sun isn’t even out yet!  Oh wait… there weren’t any windows) and groggily making a beeline towards the coffee pot, almost downing the coffee from the pot itself, yes, this was how it usually was. Except, there wasn’t a man wearing a particularly ill-colored trench coat that greeted Dean’s eyes that morning.

“Sam, is Cas..?” Dean trailed off as he entered the bunker’s kitchen. Sam got himself an apple for breakfast, Dean suppressed himself from making a comment about it and instead looked around. Not a single trace of Castiel. Again.

The answer was pretty obvious, but nevertheless, Sam sighed, “No, Dean.”

Castiel hasn’t left his room. Not for an entire week.

The Winchesters had tried getting him out of the room, but the angel didn’t give them any response. Dean had felt guilty and asked Sam what was it he saw in Castiel’s dream. Sam had responded that it wasn’t his story to tell, which frustrated Dean to no end.

Dean cursed under his breath when his mug created a loud thud as it hit the formica. He took a deep breath to compose himself.

Sam watched his brother return the mug and take a beer from the fridge instead, downing almost the entire thing in one go. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that Dean was blaming himself for the entire thing, and Sam felt guilty that he somehow agrees with his brother. It wasn’t entirely his fault, he hadn’t known, hadn’t seen what Sam saw. And now that Sam has seen it, he looks back at the times Castiel was with them, and it had never been more obvious that the look in Castiel’s eyes were of adoration he had solely for Dean. Only Dean.

Sitting around wasn’t gonna do them any good, Dean was restless and Sam just wanted things fixed between the two.

“Talk to him.”

“What?” Dean hissed, as if the idea was the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.  And for Dean Winchester, it probably was.

“Look,” Sam faced his brother, completely abandoning his apple, “I’m not saying that it’s entirely your fault. But you were kind of a dick-”

Sam stopped himself and thought back to the time at the ruins.

_Sam’s vision was still a bit blurry around the edges, his mind a hazy mess, and yet he could clearly make out the furious expression on Dean’s face._

_Castiel allowed himself to fall limply on the floor, exhausted from using his grace. Sam pitied the angel, for what he’s been through, and what he’s going to go through. Dean was there to catch the angel, anger was evident on his face, but his eyes told a different story. Dean drowned out the concern his eyes offered with anger, because anger was the only thing that seemed to make sense at the moment. Sam’s hope of the two patching things up was thrown out of the window when his brother opened his mouth. Clearly, his brother didn’t pity Castiel one bit ‘cause he was immediately yelling at his face._

_“What the hell, Cas!” Dean practically growled. It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t. Dean wouldn’t dare ask because he feared just what the answer might be._

_Castiel didn’t say anything, instead, he blinked furiously, his eyes blurring before finally focusing on Dean. A look of longing reigning his features._

_“You’re a freaking angel, man! So what, djinns can overpower you now?”_

_“Dean,” Sam looked at his brother pointedly, but Dean wasn’t having any of it._

_“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know becoming Heaven’s fucking reject-” Castiel visibly flinched “-makes you powerless! You couldn’t even smite the sonofabitch before it got too close. And while you were in la la land, didn’t you realize that it wasn’t real? What if Sam hadn’t come for you? What – What would have happened then?” Dean’s words were like venom dripping and being spat out of his mouth, poisoning Castiel_

_“Enough.” Sam snapped at Dean when Castiel still hadn’t said a thing._

_Dean forced himself to walk away from the angel, he couldn’t bear to be near him without either wanting to punch him or kiss him… Wait, that didn’t sound right. Dean felt a wave of anxiety wash over him before he reasoned with himself that it was just the anger getting to his head._

_Confused by what he was feeling at the moment, Dean let out a frustrated sigh before stomping out, heading to the Impala. Sam looked at the angel apologetically – A silent promise that he won’t tell a thing to his brother – before slowly following after Dean._

_The words were gently spoken, not much above a whisper, but Sam heard it clear as the day;_

_“Hadn’t it occurred to you that maybe I wanted to stay?”_

_And suddenly, Sam wasn’t sure if he could really keep his promise._

“Okay, actually no, you were a big bag of dicks,” Sam sighed.

Dean didn’t know if his brother quoted Gabriel out of pure coincidence or maybe just to annoy him even more. Knowing his brother, it was probably the latter.

“That’s very helpful, Sammy,” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Just hear me out, will you?”  Sam glared at Dean, his brother took the hint and snapped his mouth shut.

“You should apologize to him, you know? Cas has been busting his ass trying to help us. He became, and may I quote, _Heaven’s fucking reject,_ because he chose _you_ over heaven. Freakin’ heaven, Dean! I don’t think you realize how big that is. Heaven has been his home for thousands of millennia, and he gave it all up because you were at the other end of the line. It wasn’t even the both of us. It was just _you_.” There was no trace of bitterness in Sam’s tone, only desperation. He was desperate to get Dean to understand. The thought of his brother not understanding just how huge the sacrifices Castiel had made for him really baffles Sam, and his only fear was that Dean _will never_ be able to understand.

Sam took a breath to calm himself, “What I’m saying is that maybe you could at least show him some respect. Yelling at him at the ruins had hurt something in him.” He averted his eyes from brother, and was suddenly interested at his shoes, “Maybe if you saw what I did back in his head – maybe you’d understand,” Sam mumbled, a part of him wanting his brother to hear him, and another part of him fearing the consequences if his brother does hear him.

His brother, as a matter of fact, did hear him.

Dean’s expression was unreadable, the tension in the room was made obvious between the two Winchesters. Dean stared at Sam for a moment, eyes filled with something – rage, confusion, curiosity, or maybe fear, perhaps? – before walking out of the kitchen and towards to what Sam hoped was Castiel’s room.

Dean’s steps were uncertain, as though he was learning how to walk again for the first time, which was a new sight for Sam. His brother was always certain of his movements, from eating a cheeseburger to decapitating a vampire, he did it naturally, just like any other mundane thing. And now, it was like he was relearning everything he knew, everything he believed.

Dean finally gave up on trying to comprehend how to walk normally and let out a sigh.

“Sam?” Dean paused by the doorframe before looking back at his brother. The words were just at the tip of his tongue, waiting to be spilled out, the question that has been eating away at Dean for days now. He knew that the chances of Sam answering hi were slim, but he needed to take a chance.

“What was it that you saw?”

Dean’s tone was like a silent plea, and if you weren’t looking, you’d think he was on his knees. And maybe, he was seconds away from doing so.

Sam pursed his lips before he shook his head sadly. Dean just breathed out harshly and nodded his head dejectedly.

Dean originally planned on heading towards his room but immediately forgot about it when he passed by Castiel’s room. He stared at large piece of oak wood and dreaded who was behind it, it was at times like this that Dean once again remembers what Castiel truly was; an Angel of the Lord – An _Angel_! He could smite Dean’s ass whenever he pleases and yet, he hasn’t. In fact, Castiel had chosen to save Dean over having an army – which was his only hope to save heaven – and never did he give Dean hell for it. Dean feels a sense of warmth sitting like a pool in his chest, drowning his heart before spreading throughout his entire body. Ironically, the warm feeling sends shivers through his skin like tremors, making him run his hands up his biceps to calm the goosebumps down. It was a weird feeling, a good weird, but nevertheless still weird. It makes Dean want to wrap himself around the warmth of his angel.

His heart starts to beat abnormally fast once he approached the door that he feared that it just might rip through his chest. He raised a fist to knock but thought twice and allowed his hand to fall lamely at his sides. He rests his forehead on the hard wood, focusing on his breathing to calm down his racing heart, before calling out in a hoarse voice, “Cas?”

Dean winces at the crack in his voice and suddenly, he has the overwhelming desire to run back to the safety offered by his own room. But he doesn’t cower away. Not now. Castiel deserved an apology. Maybe more than that. The angel deserved _everything_.

Dean closes his eyes and wills his mind to go blank, which was hard, so instead, he thinks of Castiel.

_“Cas, buddy, are you there?”_

Dean was hoping to hear the squeak of a doorknob, the creaking of a door, and groans of protest at its hinges, but what he heard was way more deafening;

_“Goodbye, Dean.”_

Dean wasn’t ready for what he heard, and it sends him to trip slightly backwards.

Castiel’s telepathic response resonates through Dean’s mind, like a bullet ricocheting, hitting every surface. The terrifying feeling was followed by a blinding light pouring out of the small spaces of the doorframe. There was a soft tinge of blue coming off with the light, it makes the door almost seem translucent. Dean stumbles back before coming at the door, banging his fist against it while his other hand desperately turns at the knob.

“Cas!” Dean yells over the deafening noise, similar to what he heard when Castiel attempted to communicate with him in Enochian.

_“Cas, what’s going on?”_  Dean calls out in his mind, not entirely sure if Castiel got the message. There was no response.

Dean has given up on trying to turn the knob and instead used his shoulder and biceps to bust the door down. The sparks of pain that ran through his veins was left ignored as he kept thrashing at the door.

“Dean?” Sam called as he ran to where the deafening sound was coming from. He spotted Dean trying to break the door down, the light seeping through the hinges were slowly dimming down. Sam springs into action and helps his brother in busting the door down.

By the time they had busted the door down, the light had been completely gone, leaving the Winchester brothers with the sight of a once mighty angel lying unconscious on the floor.

Castiel’s last response was the only thing reverberating through Dean’s head;

_“I’m sorry.”_

*

 

There was light, blinding light, it dims down and then Castiel was back.

He didn’t wake up on the couch, nor did he wake up beside Dean in bed, instead, he was right where he was when was forced into awakening; he was at the kitchen.

Most of the lights were out, but Castiel could make out a soft glow by the doorframe that led to the living room. It was dark out and there was a heavy downpour, the angel could hear each droplet falling from the heavens and down to the ground. It makes him relive the moment he fell from Heaven, his trauma slowly creeping back to him. A light breeze brushed past Castiel making him shiver.

The faint sound of crickets made the angel feel an overwhelming feeling of emptiness deep inside. The heavy feeling claws at his heart, forcing him to clutch at his chest. Castiel couldn’t explain the feeling, nor could he fathom why he was feeling it in the first place. The feeling was a mixture of emptiness, loneliness, and numbness all together, the angel tries to get his mind off of it and tunes back in to the sound of the rain. The windows were all tightly shut when he gazed out of it. He reveled at the sight of rain falling in such an orderly manner, the consistent splatter of rain somehow comforting him. After a moment, he finally tears his gaze away from the window and diverted it to the soft glow coming from the other room.

He walks until his feet lead him to the living room. The soft glow of light was coming from the television that was playing an unfamiliar program. His heart races once he spots Dean sleeping soundly on the couch, his soft snores and the occasional static of the television the only noises to be heard in the room.

He treads lightly as he approaches Dean, he crouches right in front of him and smiles as presses a kiss on the sleeping man’s nose. The feather light contact causes Dean to scrunch his nose before slowly lifting his eyelids, revealing the beautiful green orbs to Castiel.

Dean yawns before rapidly blinking his eyes and smiling lazily up at the angel, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Castiel felt his shoulders slump back as the tension relieves, his mouth curled up into a big smile, “It’s all right, let’s go to bed?”

Dean props himself with his arms and rubs at his eye, “Are you sleepy?”

Castiel considers the question before shaking his head no.

Dean smiles, “How does a movie night sound?”

The angel looks back at him fondly, “I’d like that, yes.”

“Great, I’ll go make us some coffee and popcorn – wait do you actually want popcorn?” Dean asks, checking the time. It was quarter past 1 in the morning.

“Not at this moment,” Castiel shrugs, “Coffee would be great, though.”

Dean laughs, “Thought so. It’s your turn to pic a movie, by the way.” And with that, he makes his way to the kitchen.

Castiel walks to their movie collection which consisted of more or less fifty DVDs, most of them Castiel assumed were from Sam. Castiel wonders what Sam was like in this universe, he decides to ask Dean.

“How’s Sam doing?”

“He just won a case recently. He and Emilia are planning to drop by with the twins next week.”

Castiel smiles at this, not only was Sam a lawyer, but he also had a family of his own.

He continues to look through their movie collection, stopping once he spots the Titanic disc they had. He makes a face, though he hasn’t watched it himself, Balthazar’s stories were enough to drive him away from watching the movie entirely. He lets out a sigh, none of the movies seem to interest him, so instead he walks back to the kitchen where Dean was preparing their coffee.

He gently rests his hands at Dean’s waist before completely wrapping them around him. He inhales Dean’s scent and smiles. Dean always had a complex scent that the angel could only associate to him. He smelt of coffee, cigarettes, and cherries to balance it all out. It was an odd mix, but Castiel loved it all the more.

“I couldn’t pick a movie,” Castiel whispers at Dean’s skin, sending shivers to the green-eyed man.

“Hmm, we could look up Netflix?” Dean suggests.

“Orange is better than Black?”

“Orange is the new Black.”

“Oh.”

Dean laughs before facing his angel, giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Dr. Sexy?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Dr. Sexy,” Castiel smiles and nods

“Hey, maybe Dr. Sexy could be our alwa -”

“All right, that’s enough, Mister,” Castiel rolls his eyes playfully, taking his cup of coffee from Dean.

 

They ended up cuddling on the couch while binge watching Dr. Sexy. It took four episodes before Dean’s eyes were slowly drooping shut. Castiel shut the laptop off and led Dean back to their bedroom.

 

“’M the… big spoon,” Dean mumbled as he lazily wrapped his arms around Castiel.

Castiel twists his head so that he could give Dean a kiss. “I love you, goodnight,” He says in between the kiss.

“Mmm… goodnight, beautiful,” Dean slurs and buries his chin on Castiel’s neck.

Castiel sighs in satisfaction and snuggles further into Dean’s embrace, he lets himself be engulfed by his husband’s scent.

He was about to drift away into a blissful sleep when he heard it,

_“Cas…”_

“Did you say something?” He whispers with his eyes closed. Dean doesn’t respond.

Castiel carefully turns his head, Dean was fast asleep.

_“Cas, please, come back.”_

Castiel’s blood runs cold and his body stiffens as he feels the voice echo throughout the entire room.

_“Cas, please wake up.”_

The angel shuts his eyes tightly and shakes his head desperately, trying to block out the voice. To block out Dean’s – the real Dean’s – prayers.

“No… please,” he whispers to no one, “leave me alone…”

He holds onto Dean’s hands tightly that night, afraid that he might fade away, just like anything that’s good in Castiel’s sad life.

 

*

 

“Dean, look at this.”

Sam enters Castiel’s room with a particularly old book, he flips it to the correct page before he hands it to Dean who was sitting beside Castiel’s unconscious body lying limp on the bed. Castiel wasn’t breathing and the Winchester weren’t sure if angels actually needed to breathe.

Dean scans the page quickly before frowning, “Another dream spell? What makes you think he’s under one?”

Sam points at a particular paragraph, “Read that part, it makes perfect sense.”

Dean looks back at the page, “it let’s _anyone_ to go back to a place in their head, the place they long for the most. What about this makes any—son of a bitch… _anyone_?”

“There are no exceptions, not even angels,” Sam provides.

“In exchange of what, c’mon, stuff like this can’t go without cost,” Dean grumbles.

“Life.”

“What?”

“It costs their life.”

“But Cas…”

“Is an angel, I know,” Sam sighs.

It finally clicks to Dean, “His grace is burning out.”

“That’s where the light came from earlier, yes. The spell is eating at his grace and once it’s all gone, so will be Cas,” Sam points out.

Dean lets the book to drop on his lap as he faces Castiel. “You idiot, are you trying to kill yourself?” He mumbles.

“I think it’s possible for one of us to enter his head…” Sam looks at his brother with uncertainty.

Dean doesn’t miss the tone in Sam’s voice, “Are you suggesting that I go in his head?”

“It’s not like I can get in his head. We need someone who has a direct connection with Cas.”

Dean looks at his left shoulder, Castiel’s mark had faded for the most part, but it’s still there. It always will. It was a part of Dean now.

“But…” Suddenly Dean could feel fear pooling at his stomach, he’s not sure what he’d see inside Castiel’s head, and that scares him.

Sam contemplates on his next actions and says a silent apology to Castiel in his head, though he doubts Castiel would hear it.

“Fine, I’ll tell you what I saw.”

Dean suddenly forgets about his fear and looks back at Sam in full attention.

Sam fidgets nervously, “I saw, well… You.”

“Me?”

But Sam didn’t need to further elaborate it because that one word was enough for Dean to understand.

“He..?” Dean couldn’t even finish a sentence, but Sam knows what he’s trying to say.

“Dean, you’re probably the most oblivious person I’ve met. I thought Castiel giving up Heaven _twice_ was proof enough for you,” Sam shakes his head in disbelief. Dean didn’t reply.

Sam looks at his brother directly in the eyes, “You have to stop burying your feelings under all that anger and hatred in your heart.”

“What makes you think I do?” Dean argues weakly.

“I know you do. And you have to stop it Dean, you have to stop it before you lose more people you love.” Sam says softly this time.

“I…” Dean says brokenly “… Fine.”

“What?”

Dean sucks in a breath, “I’ll do it.”

Sam looks at his brother, trying to read his face, “Do you want to talk about it first?”

“No,” Dean shakes his head, “There’s no time for that.”

“All right,” Sam nods and they’re back to being professional.

Sam directs Dean to take Castiel’s hand and place it on top of his mark. Castiel’s hand fits the mark perfectly and Dean shivers upon the contact, it was as if Castiel was holding his soul.

The rest of the procedure was pretty much the same as the first time Sam entered Castiel’s head. Dean supported Castiel’s hand on his mark with his own hand as he drank the dream root.

“Don’t hold back,” Dean smirked at his brother.

Sam chuckles weakly. It takes two solid punches before Dean was out like a light, leaving Sam in a room with two unconscious bodies.

 

*

 

Dean doesn’t recognize the room he suddenly appears on. The room had a king size bed, a bedside table with a lamp on top, the walls were adorned with pictures that Dean doesn’t recognize, _even though he was in the said pictures._

He hears light chatter from what he assumed was the kitchen. He followed the sounds and was met with the sight of Castiel with, well, himself.

But it wasn’t really him, it must’ve been the Dean in Castiel’s dreams.

He watches in astonishment as the fake Dean kisses Castiel on the lips before saying something that makes the angel laugh.

Dean feels himself growl lowly before he could help himself. He immediately pushes away the heavy, poisonous feeling and tunes in to their conversation.

“I’m heading to the store, you need anything?” Castiel asked as he puts on a coat.

“Uh, yeah, I need more carrots,” the fake Dean calls back from the kitchen, focused on the vegetables he was cutting.

“All right,” Castiel replies

Dean hides behind a loveseat when Castiel walks out of the front door. He grabs for an umbrella before getting out of his hiding place.

Dean silently walks into the kitchen, watching with wide eyes the figure that looks a lot like him.

Dean never knew there’d come a day when he’d knock his own self unconscious.

 

*

 

When Castiel enters the house again about half an hour later, the atmosphere was suddenly heavy, though the angel didn’t know why. He shakes off the feeling and makes his way directly to the kitchen, placing his purchases on the counter.

He smiles as he wraps his arms around Dean, resting his head on his back.

Dean stiffens for a second before he relaxes his body, Castiel’s soft breaths sending shivers down his spine. Castiel smiles as he rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder, watching as his husband cuts away at the vegetables.

“Mmm, what’cha making?” He whispers, but then something caught his eye; Dean wasn’t wearing his ring.

“I… uh,” Dean forced himself to relax and act normal, but he was failing miserably.

Before Dean could come up with a response, Castiel slowly drops his arms to his sides before stepping away from Dean.

“You’re not Dean…” He says brokenly.

Dean sighs as he turns to face angel, “What are you talking about, Cas?  I’m Dean.”

“No,” Castiel shot back, “You’re not _my_ Dean.”

Something inside Dean broke when he heard the words fall from Castiel’s mouth. He didn’t know why it affected him so much.

“What did you do to him?” Castiel looked at him suspiciously.

“Nothing!” Dean interjects, “He’s fine, mostly.”

Castiel backs up until he’s using the wall as support to stand, “What do you want?” there was a crack in his voice, a clear sign that he was just seconds away from breaking down.

“Cas… you can’t just do this, man. Since when were you all kamikaze?” Dean frowned.

“What does it matter to you if I am?” Castiel glared at him,

“It matters to me because you’re family!”

“Does family always feel like being treated like crap, ‘cause that sure as hell ain’t what I was expecting!”

“Cas, you don’t understa-”

“No, Dean, _you_ don’t understand! What else do I have to give up, huh? How many more times do I have to break to _at least_ become something important to you?” Castiel let out a frustrated sigh.

“You _are_ important Cas, I…” Dean falters for a second, “I-”

“Save it, Dean.” Castiel cuts him off.

“Cas,” Dean starts,

“Is that what you want? For me to go back to that hell you call earth?” Castiel whispers

“ _Cas_ ,” Dean repeats, not sure what else to say.

“ _Is that,_ what you want?” Castiel says through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry,” Dean says softly.

“Is it?!” Castiel yelled, getting impatient.

“I don’t know!” Dean launches himself at the angel, but what Castiel didn’t expect was when he felt Dean hug him tightly.

“I don’t know, all right? That’s your choice to make. Okay Cas? I’m sorry.” Dean closes his eyes, his heart beating rapidly as he tightened his grip on the angel.

Castiel lets his body relax on the touch only for a moment before he’s brutally ripping himself out of Dean’s embrace, which was something he never thought he’d do.

“You don’t get to do this to me, Dean Winchester! Aren’t I broken enough? You just… You… I hate it! This feeling of longing whenever I so much as approach you, it hurts a lot. So stop it! I don’t know what it is, but just please stop.” Castiel cries.

“Cas, I’m not -”

“I love you, you fucking insufferable son of a bitch!” Castiel yelled, finally feeling his walls crumbling down.

Dean, however, wasn’t able to respond, because as soon as the words leave the angel’s mouth, an angel blade was pierced through Castiel’s chest. Dean stares in shock as Castiel stabs himself with the blade before looking at the angel in the eyes. His eyes were glowing, and Dean could make out a tear rolling down the angel’s cheek.

And then everything went black.

 

*

 

Dean feels like he went through hell and back (which he’s been to, by the way) when he opened his eyes.

“Dean? Dean!” He could feel Sam slap his cheek to bring him back to consciousness. He waved him off and Sam backed away to give him some space.

Dean let out a groan as he propped himself up and immediately diverted his eyes to Castiel.

“Cas!” He rushed to his side and cradled the angel’s head on his lap.

Castiel’s eyes were slowly drooping shut. The angel looked back up at Dean lazily, his mouth going slack.

“Dean…” he murmurs.

“I’m here, Cas. You’re gonna be all right,” Dean felt a surge of panic when Castiel’s eyes closed.

The angel was still breathing, which was a clear indication that he was still alive. But Dean was suddenly hit with a huge realization that causes a huge wave of fear to wash over him. His realization makes him feel light headed and nauseous – **_Angels don’t sleep._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part three coming up! albeit I might edit the first chapter first, but we'll see! What were your thoughts? I'd love to hear them! c:


	3. What Should Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the tranquility of a place too bright to be seen, was an ear-splitting, intense ringing that disturbed the silence being observed. Brethren upon brethren faced each other with soft eyes and helpless frowns.
> 
> Heaven had lost another Angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter! 
> 
> I would like to thank each and every one of my readers who've supported this book. It was originally supposed to be a oneshot, but thanks to all of the love this story has received, It became a 3-chapter fic!  
> This has honestly been the first Destiel fic I've ever written and I'm really glad that it turned out well. I always look forward to your comments and to your kudos, these have been my inspiration to continue writing.
> 
> This story will still be edited (especially part 1 and 2) so just check it out if you're interested in rereading it. :)
> 
> For updates on my upcoming stories, check out @thingsaboutwings on instagram. I'll be posting covers and banners there for my upcoming fics so stay tuned!  
> I'm already planning a timestamp for this story, though I'm uncertain as to when I'm going to post it. I'll update you about it on my IG :)

 

Castiel had never felt pain like this before.

Granted that he had accumulated battle wounds in the past as Heaven’s soldier, but no, he wasn’t talking about that.

He had felt thirst, had felt how it was to yearn for even just a single drop of water to relieve the agony in his throat.

He too had felt hunger, had felt how it was to endure your stomach curling in on itself, as though it was intending to consume itself with acid.

And he had felt exhaustion, had felt what it was like to want to collapse on solid ground, to lie there and shut the world out even only for a few minutes.

He had experienced the basics of humanity. And if that had been terrifying, then nothing could ever prepare him for the pain that came with it; pain so profound that it wasn’t just merely physical. Castiel could feel it coursing through his vessel’s veins, ripping through what grace he had left in him.

The pain was worse than the hollow feeling that nestled itself in his chest before – his lack of emotion had been a blessing, this he realizes. It’d been blissful to not feel anything, to be _numb_ and indifferent. Yeah, it made him an asshole, but was it really worth avoiding if it felt this bad?

Opening his eyes had been traumatizing, for it heightened the heavy feeling. It was like being punched right in the gut and Castiel was gasping for air. Pain coursed and flared through his nose, the sting causing his eyes to water and glisten.

He was desperate to get up, suddenly in need for more air, like the oxygen in this room couldn’t suffice. It was then that he felt something wrapped around his body. He looked at the strong, lean arms that had enclosed themselves around his waist. Castiel shifted ever so slightly and felt his back against Dean’s chest, there was also an uncomfortable wet feeling on the collar of his shirt which Castiel chose to ignore.

There had been a spark of hope that bloomed in his chest, that maybe he was still with _his_ Dean, safe and cozy in their own home. That what happened with the real Dean had only been a dream.

A dream within a dream. Castiel wanted to laugh.

Castiel gently shifted, intending to escape Dean’s embrace without waking him up. The task proved itself to be hard since every time Castiel so much as moves, Dean’s arms tightened around him. But it wasn’t too tight that it became uncomfortable, as a matter of fact, Castiel would’ve felt protected, he would’ve felt safe in his hunter’s arms, only if it didn’t hurt so much.

Castiel stiffened, then immediately shut his eyes when he felt Dean begin to stir. Though he didn’t know why. Was he afraid to face Dean? No, he wasn’t, as a matter of fact, he was angry at the hunter. He wanted to punch him, to bruise him, let him feel all the pain he had gone through… but why? Because Dean didn’t feel the same way? That wasn’t fair. Castiel had no right to be mad, and he knew that. As much as it pains him to admit it, it was true. So he just laid there helplessly, pretending to be asleep as Dean regained consciousness.

 

Dean’s eyes squinted when he tried to open them. There wasn’t any light in the room save for the shitty lampshade that reflected warm, yellow light. He felt his cheeks heat up once he realizes the position he and Castiel were in.

They most certainly didn’t sleep like _this_. Dean just laid beside the angel for the night, though he didn’t know why he did it in the first place. Perhaps for comfort? To reassure himself that the angel wouldn’t disappear out of plain sight? Whatever the reason was, sleeping beside the angel had somewhat calmed something in the hunter. And Dean wouldn’t deny it to himself; it was the best he’d slept in a while.

He was hesitant to remove his arms that were enveloping the angel in an embrace, so he just left them like that, even only for a while. The hunter frowned when he noticed that Castiel’s collar was wet. He slowly lifted a hand to rub his face, only to feel dried tears on his and face and – Oh. He had been crying.

Dean felt pathetic and vulnerable at that very moment, being exposed like this. Though he knew that Castiel couldn’t see him and was still unconscious, he still couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. He sighs shakily and slowly lowers his hand from his face, initially desiring to hold Castiel’s hand, but ends up placing it on top of the angel’s bicep instead. He closes his eyes in frustration.

When he opens them again, his eyes immediately search for the clock on the nightstand. It read 3:37 am.

Dean never did understand the concept of time for angels, so he couldn’t tell for certain how long Castiel had been out. But that seemed irrelevant at the time because from the human perspective, it had very well been 3 days and Dean was terrified that the angel will forever remain like this; stuck in the bliss of sleep.

He suddenly felt restless. Like he couldn’t stomach another second of seeing Castiel unconscious.

Dean forced himself to pull back his arms from the angel. He immediately regrets it. But he didn’t really have a choice if he was going to find a cure for his angel.

He propped himself upward and sat at the edge of the bed, staring longingly at Castiel. How had it all come to this? To Dean nearly losing the angel, _again_? No, never again. Dean won’t risk losing Castiel ever again.

He glanced at the angel’s face. He looked tired, which contrasted greatly from his strength before. Dean felt sick. Sick and guilty.

“Hey, Cas,” A rough voice echoed throughout the room. It took a while before Dean realized that the voice had been his.

“You’re probably mad, maybe even more than that. I wouldn’t blame you if you smite me once you wake up,” he chuckled sadly.

He tried to push away the thought of his words falling on deaf ears.

“I’m sorry,” Dean sighed, finally, his long overdue apology. “I’m sorry about a lot of things.”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you. I’m sorry for all the times I’ve been a total asshole to you, I… _I’m sorry I didn’t say it_.” Dean takes a deep breath to calm himself. It doesn’t work.

He continues anyway, “’Cause if I did, maybe… maybe you wouldn’t be hurting right now.”

Dean opens his mouth, only to close it again, like a fish out of water. He does this for a couple more times, slowly getting frustrated at himself.

“ _I love you.”_

 _And there it was._ Dean squeezed his eyes shut, half expecting for a bomb to go off, his heart was pounding at an abnormal rate. Except, nothing happened. The world didn’t blow up, nor did another apocalypse ensue because of the words. No. Nothing happened.

Dean opened his eyes once more, suddenly determined. “I won’t let you hurt any longer. I’ll find something, I promise, Cas. You’re going to be all right.”

He nervously presses a soft, almost chaste, kiss on Castiel’s forehead. It was quick, soft, barely there, but it meant everything to Dean.

Unbeknownst to the hunter, a pair of blue eyes were watching him – wide with disbelief and confusion from all that he’s heard – as he walked out of the room. Said eyes were also wet with unshed tears.

 

*****

 

Sam was worried for his brother’s well-being.

And no, this wasn’t about Dean’s unhealthy choice of meals. As a matter of fact, Sam wouldn’t be opposed to his brother consuming an entire crate of cheeseburgers if it meant that Dean was actually eating something.

Other than that, Dean hasn’t stopped reading lores, or anything that could help with Castiel’s condition. And his sleep deprivation was starting to take its toll.

Don’t get him wrong, Castiel was also Sam’s friend, and he’d do anything to help. But he also wanted Dean to just put the book down and give it a rest, even just for a while.

Sam soon realizes that his complaints wouldn’t get them anywhere, so instead he takes a sip of his coffee and continues scanning the pages, that is, till something catches his attention.

“ _Holy shit_ ,” he exhales, eyes widening just a bit, not entirely sure if he could believe what he was reading.

Dean’s head snaps up at Sam’s whispered interjection, and he’s suddenly standing up to walk to his side.

“What did you find?” Dean asks, on edge.

“A cure,” He frowns as he continues reading “Well, sort of.” Sam adds.

“Sort of?” Dean repeats, between bemused and agitated.

“It’s a lore about angel grace, that when an angel gets trapped inside their own head, they are actually exhausting their grace. They don’t lose it, rather, they just don’t have access to it.”

“English, Sam.”

“That’ the simplest I could put it,” Sam frowns, “This part of the lore’s quite complicated.”

“No, I get the _whole getting trapped in their own head_ part, what I don’t get is why they don’t have access to their grace afterwards.” Dean clarifies.

Sam purses his lips and continues to scan the paragraph before explaining, “I don’t know how to simplify it other than saying that their grace gets stuck in their mind. Something in their subconscious is actually powerful enough to trap the grace in itself, isolating it in one part of the angel’s mind, which is why they can’t access it. This could actually cause the angel’s death once all their grace had been drained. If we aren’t too late to pull Castiel out of his own subconscious, then we might just be able to retrieve his grace.”

“Okay,” Dean says skeptically, “but _how_?”

Sam braces himself because this was the hard part, “For one, Castiel actually has to be conscious to start with. Then we’ll have to find the original spell he used and… repeat it on him.”

“What!” Dean exclaims, “Why the fuck would we do that?”

“Cas has to get back into his own subconscious and kill the _thing_ that’s holding his grace.” Sam tries to explain calmly, though he’s very far from achieving that.

The older Winchester was just about ready to call this whole thing bullshit when he suddenly pauses.

“Alone?” Dean’s eye soften, anger replaced with sadness.

“He has to,” Sam sighs regrettably.

The tenderness in Dean’s eyes was short-lived, “How would he know which _thing_ is holding his grace?”

“It says here that it’s the one the angel had been around most with,” Sam eyes his brother carefully.

“That would be…” Dean trails off, suddenly turning pale once he chanced a glance at the entrance of the bunker’s library.

“Cas?”

And surely, as Sam turned to meet where Dean’s gaze was, he saw Castiel standing by the border of Dean’s room and the library.

“How long have you been standing there?” Dean asked.

Castiel’s expression was unreadable, “Long enough.”

A deep silence ensued between the three of them, along with a tension so thick, it could be cut with a butter knife.

“Cas–” Dean starts.

Castiel cuts him off, “I’m giving you my consent. I’ll be in the room if you need me.”

“Castiel, wait.” But Castiel had already shut the door.

Sam ducks his head and opens up the book Castiel had used. He clears his throat, “You should talk to him.”

Dean stares at the door absent-mindedly for a minute before replying, “Yeah.. Yeah I’ll just-” he motions to the door.

Sam nods in understanding, “I’ll gather everything we need.”

 

*****

 

Dean was uncharacteristically nervous as he opened the door to his room. He was surprised to find it unlocked, so he used the opportunity to enter, no time for chickening out now.

He found Castiel seated at the edge of his bed, where Dean himself had been seated hours ago. He suddenly panicked at the thought of Castiel being awake during his pathetic love confession. If he had been, Castiel didn’t show any signs of it.

He slowly walked to were the angel was silently sitting, his eyes closed as though he was praying. Castiel doesn’t acknowledge his presence, either that or he was too deep in contemplation that he couldn’t sense Dean standing in front of him.

Dean was shaking with nerves but eventually clears his throat, he feels the last of his confidence fade as Castiel opens his eyes to meet his.

“I’m sorry,” And what a way to start a conversation. Dean felt incredibly stupid at the moment, but he didn’t know what else to say.

“Why are you apologizing? You haven’t done anything wrong, it was my own stupidity that has landed me in this situation.” Castiel’s face was blank, void of any emotion.

“That’s not true,” Dean protested weakly, suddenly shy.

Castiel raised a brow, “Then tell me, Dean Winchester, what exactly is your fault?”

Dean was taken aback by the question and suddenly, he was stumbling over his words, “I, this – you… everything.”

“Everything?” Castiel repeated, “I find that very hard to believe. It’s too vast, I’m not following.”

Dean gritted his teeth in annoyance, why was it so hard to talk to the angel? “Work with me here, Cas!”

Castiel remained silent, eyes cold and hard. Dean immediately regretted shouting at him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Yeah, you keep saying that,” Castiel said wearily, “Do you even mean it?”

“You know I do!” Dean quickly interjected in surprise. What kind of a question was that?

“No, actually I don’t.” Castiel deadpanned.

Dean faltered slightly, “Well I do, I mean it, Cas.”

“Okay.” was the angel’s response. And it held such finality that Dean knew Castiel was cutting their conversation short, but he couldn’t leave it at that.

“Cas,” Dean said carefully, as if the one syllable name took effort to pronounce. And with his tongue feeling like jelly, Dean wasn’t surprised.

“We’re _done_ here, Dean.” Castiel faced away from him.

Something in his words stung at Dean’s chest, forcing him to gasp wetly, “Please.”

“Please what?” Castiel said monotonously, still not facing the hunter.

“Please stay,” Dean said softly, even he himself wasn’t sure if the angel had heard it.

“I’m not going anywhere,” the angel said, slightly bemused.

“You will, later with the spell. And you might not…” Dean couldn’t finish the sentence, fearing that it would come true once the words come out.

“I…” Castiel pursed his lips.

“I understand why you’d want it to end that way,” Dean winced at his own words, “I could never give you that life, nor could I compare to the Dean that you want to have. I’m damaged, Cas. And I’ll most likely never heal. But please…”

“Please give me a chance.”

The angel looked back at him with such intensity in his eyes that it caused Dean's throat to tighten. 

“You have to stop degrading yourself, Dean.” Castiel sighs, “You have no idea how bright your soul is, how perfect you are in my eyes. You’re a man who’s been through heaven, hell, and purgatory, but your soul hasn’t dimmed a bit. Nor will it ever.”

Dean fights the tears threatening to fall, he exhales shakily, “Castiel, I-”

“I do not wish to force my feelings upon you, Dean. I do not want you to feel obligated to return them. You don’t have to pretend. I won’t leave you and Sam.” The angel reassured him.

But _no_ , Dean thought, _he doesn’t understand._

“What don’t I understand?”

Dean suddenly felt embarrassed, had he said that out loud? He’s at a loss for words. He doesn’t have the same confidence of confessing to Cas like he had when he thought he was asleep. He hated himself for being such a coward.

“I need you, Cas.” He slammed his eyes shut, his body shaking. 

Dean felt gentle arms land on his shoulder, and suddenly he’s being wrapped in a tight embrace. Dean lets himself melt into Castiel’s arms, but it doesn’t last long, and Dean already misses the warmth that Castiel’s body radiated.

As if on cue, they hear Sam knock. He silently walks to them and then he’s handing a bottle to Castiel.

The angel nods as a _thank you_.

“Are you sure you know what you’re going to do?” Sam asked.

“I’m positive,” came the reply. He popped open the bottle and looked back at them

“Cas?” Dean asks, uncertainty evident in his tone.

Castiel smiled at him softly, “I’ll see you later, Dean.”

“You better,” Dean tried to play it off nonchalantly, but he was clearly failing.

Castiel drank the contents of the bottle. A bright light radiated from his body and left him, once again, to fall unconscious.

But this time, Dean was there to catch him.

 

*****

 

Castiel didn’t magically appear at their kitchen like he’d expected. Instead, he found himself lying down on their bed. He was alone. Sunlight seemed to bleed from the small gap in between the curtains, causing the angel to frown and cover himself with the comforter.

Castiel felt Dean’s side of the bed which was still warm, he smiled sadly, knowing how badly this would end. He propped himself up from the bed, navigating his slippers using his feet alone before finally walking down the steps and into their kitchen, where the angel assumed Dean was at.

The angel could instinctively tell that Dean was cooking them eggs for breakfast. He stared longingly at Dean’s back, trying to work up the courage to get on with the task at hand.

Castiel treaded lightly towards him, initially intending to just grab a knife and plunge it deep into Dean just to get it over with, but instead he found himself hugging the man from behind tightly.

“Woah there, angel.” Dean laughed easily, “You almost startled me there.”

Castiel buried his nose in Dean’s neck, inhaling his sweet scent. He was going to miss their domesticity, their easy life together. There weren’t any demons, nor angels, no big bad that would threaten their safety. Just a cozy home with a cozy life.

But Castiel doesn’t want any of it. Not if he’s not with _his Dean_.

The real Dean.

“Morning,” he sighed. He was going to enjoy this for as long as he can, before it was time to wake up from his fairytale.

Dean turned around to steal a kiss from him, and then he’s smiling at him like an idiot, “That’s good afternoon to you, gorgeous.”

Castiel smiles back, all teeth and gums, “Sorry, I was too distracted by you.”

Dean blushes and chuckles, “Five years of marriage, and only now did I know that it was possible for you to be a morning person.”

Castiel raises a brow, “I’m fairly certain that I am pleasant in the morning.”

Dean looks at him fondly, “Mhm, keep telling yourself that, angel.”

Dean smacks him playfully in the ass making him yelp as he heads for the dining table.

Dean gets back to cooking while Castiel sits himself down in the dining room. The gleam of his ring catches his eyes and suddenly he was twisting the silver band around his finger.

“Brunch time,” Dean smiles cheekily as he enters the dining room wearing his apron. Castiel can’t help but think of it as endearing.

Dean sits across from him and gently takes his hand. What surprises Castiel though, is when Dean starts to say the grace before meals.

Watching Dean pray was… mesmerizing. His eyes were closed, his lips were mumbling the words and his cheeks were somewhat red, as though he was shy of Castiel seeing him like this.

“You’re actually praying,” Castiel blurted out before he could stop himself.

Dean looked at him with those beautiful eyes before smiling that little smile, “I’m feeling particularly thankful today.”

Castiel’s smile grew as Dean interlocked their fingers before kissing each of his hands, his heart pounding faster when he sees their matching rings.

“Five years, huh?” Castiel sighs dreamily, “Don’t you ever get sick of me?”

He meant for it as a joke, but Dean was looking at him with concern, “I’d never get sick of you, Cas.”

Castiel smiles sadly and softly replies, “Okay.”

Okay.

“Don’t you ever miss the hunting life?” Castiel suddenly asked. He knew it seemed weird for him to ask such a question, but a million things were flooding his head at the moment and he thought that if this would be the last time he could get answers, then he was going to make it count.

Dean looks at him, their brunch completely forgotten, “What’s there to miss?”

“Seeing Sam daily? Going on drives with the Impala? Saving people?” Castiel was just rambling as of now.

Dean looks at him silly, “I can still do those things without actually having to hunt. Well, some of it.”

“I know,” Castiel murmurs, “But it’s different.”

“I get what you’re trying to say,” Dean offers comfortingly. “It’s how I’ve lived half of my life. But that was before I met you, Cas. I already told you this before, I want to settle down, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Okay,” Castiel says again, eyes suddenly interested at the table cloth.

Dean sighs, “How about you?”

Castiel looks back at Dean, “What about me?”

“Do you miss being an angel?” Dean asked, “Do you ever regret being human with me?”

“I don’t,” was Castiel’s immediate answer, “I could never.”

But Dean doesn’t look entirely convinced. 

Castiel smiles softly at him and takes his hand, “There are certain things that are much more important to me than becoming an angel. Like spending my life with you. And frankly, loving you is so much more than that. I’d give up being an angel if it meant being with you forever. I would do it in a heartbeat. Without a second thought.”

Castiel didn’t even realize he’d been crying till Dean began to wipe his tears with his thumb. Dean was looking at him with a worried expression.

“Cas?”

“I’m sorry,” Castiel said wetly, “but you’re not my Dean.”

Dean frowned, “I don’t understand.”

“My Dean’s got a tough exterior, he drinks like there’s no tomorrow, he’s most definitely not a morning person, and he can be a bit terrifying when he wants to be. But he’s also gentle, and thoughtful, and selfless, and genius, and fragile, but he doesn’t let it show. He loves his brother more than anything, he’s been through hell and back, and he’s just… perfect,” Castiel smiles thoughtfully, “And I love him.”

“But then…” Dean starts, “Where is he? And why are you here?”

“Because of this,” Castiel says as he places a hand over Dean’s chest, where his heart is supposed to be. And sure enough, Castiel could feel parts of his grace surging underneath the skin.

“Don’t wanna make myself useless to them,” Castiel confesses sadly.

Dean places his hand over Castiel’s, “Is that what they think of you?” Castiel could hear the anger in his tone.

“No… It’s what I think of myself,” the angel smiles brokenly, “I’ve always feared being powerless, ‘cause what good am I for them then?”

“Useless would be the last thing you are, Cas,” Dean states firmly, “I hope you know that,”

“Thank you,” Castiel said, “I really needed to hear that.”

Dean smiles at him, but then it slowly falters.

“Will this make you happy?” Dean says as he slides something towards the angel. 

Dean hands Castiel a simple knife and suddenly the angel was in tears again.

“I didn’t want it to end this way,” Castiel cries, “I want you to know that.”

“I know, angel, it’s all right.” Dean smiles at him.

Castiel stands up from his seat to wrap Dean in a tight embrace, he suddenly feels weak and his head was spinning from all the emotions he was feeling at the moment. Dean’s grip on him tightened to steady his body.

“He’s waiting for you,” Dean whispers.

"I'm scared," Castiel confesses.

Dean pulled back from the embrace to look at the angel, "Is he worth the risk?"

Castiel didn't have to think twice, "He is, and so much more."

Dean smiled, "Then you shouldn't be scared."

And something about his smile had Castiel falling further for the man. 

“I love you, Dean Winchester.”

“And I, you.” Dean replies and guides the knife in Castiel's hands towards his chest. 

When the knife plunges into Dean’s heart, Dean’s body pixelates and suddenly, Castiel could see a blinding light.

He felt his grace spread throughout his body, and then everything went black.

 

*****

 

Dean was all alone in the bunker, just watching over Castiel’s limp body.

Jody called and Sam took on the case. He was reluctant on leaving Dean alone at first, but Dean said he could use some time alone.

It had been 4 hours since Castiel had been under the spell, and Dean’s starting to get worried. What if Castiel changed his mind? What if he realized that Dean wasn’t worth another chance?

No, he said to himself, Castiel had promised him he wouldn’t leave them. But could Dean really blame him if he broke that promise?

Dean buried his face in his palms in frustration. He was exhausted, agitated, and above all, scared. Scared to live a life without Castiel, scared to lose him over a fake version of himself, because that would really be a punch in the gut. He was too terrified to even notice how harsh the wind became.

When Dean lifted his head from his palms, he was surprised by blinding white light. He covered his eyes till the light slowly dimmed, and then suddenly, Castiel was on his feet, eyes glowing bright blue.

The silhouette of the angel’s wings manifested themselves before Dean’s eyes, leaving him stunned. Castiel’s wings were wide and strong, seemingly glowing with the angel’s vessel.

Dean was completely mesmerized. And terrified. 

He was stunned into silence, taking in the majestic form of Castiel. 

He wasn’t afraid of Castiel. He was afraid of Castiel realizing that Dean was nothing but a puny human just wasting his time. He was afraid of the angel realizing that Dean wasn’t worthy of him.

He slowly backed away while watching the angel regain his strength and grace. He only stops when he feels his back come in contact with the wall and slowly slides down to a fetal position.

He can feel tears cascading down his cheeks as he saw Castiel’s eyes slowly lose its glow and his wings start to fade. His body starts to shake uncontrollably as the angel approaches him.

“Dean?” Castiel says softly, though Dean can feel it echo through his soul.

Castiel crouches down in front of him and cups Dean’s face with his palms, “Why are you crying?”

Dean couldn’t respond, his body trembling violently, so instead, Castiel wraps him in an embrace.

“Cas,” Dean says finally, still gasping for air. “I’m sorry, _I’m so sorry_.”

The angel frowned, "What's wrong, Dean?"

"I'm useless. I couldn't even find you a cure from the damn lore," his breath hitched, " _I'm sorry."_

“Shh, it’s all right _, I love you_ , it’s all right. You're not useless,” Castiel whispered, holding his hunter tight.

Dean hugs him back with the same amount of desperation, afraid to let go. Afraid of his angel leaving him again.

Castiel places a comforting kiss on Dean’s forehead, a silent gesture to tell his hunter that he’s not going anywhere.

 

*****

Castiel ends up carrying his exhausted hunter to bed that night. But he doesn’t mind. Not one bit.

He’s just about to leave the room when he feels Dean tug at his trench coat.

“Stay, Cas,” Dean pleads, and who is Castiel to deny him?

He slowly settles himself under the sheets beside Dean and extends his arms in invitation. Dean gladly accepts it and let’s himself be wrapped in his angel’s arms.

The air was fairly chilly that night,  which gave the angel all the more reason to cuddle with Dean. But then Dean was pulling back from the embrace and was looking at Castiel. 

The hunter stares at Castiel for a while before asking in a soft voice, “Can I kiss you?”

Castiel smiles softly as he meets the hunter's eyes. He cups Dean’s cheek with his palm as he slowly places his lips on Dean’s. He smiles to himself when he feels Dean press back. It was soft, and sweet, and slow. It was everything Dean could ever hope for. It wasn’t rushed like most of his one night stands. It was intimate and gentle and Dean couldn’t get enough of it.

He hums in satisfaction when they pull apart, and looks at Castiel in the eye. His eyes linger on the angel as he gathers up all his courage and finally says, “I love you.”

Castiel’s breath hitched, not quite expecting the confession, but then his smile widens and he whispers back, “I love you, too.”

Dean couldn't help but smile like an idiot because Castiel, _an angel of the Lord,_ actually wanted _him_. Of all the people he could be with, he still chose Dean. 

Dean kisses him one last time before drifting off to sleep, snuggling even further to warmth and safety. He sighed, perfectly content in his angel’s arms.

Watching Dean sleep was one of the most peaceful sights Castiel had ever witnessed; he feels overwhelmed with pure adoration and love for the man that he had fallen for. That night, Castiel vowed to be beside Dean forever, to pull him out of every nightmare, and watch over him as he fell into the pit of unconsciousness. No harm would come to the man he loved as long as he was around, and he smiled to himself because that would mean forever, because **_Angels Don’t Sleep._**

 

**END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes on the story:  
> \- about the summary saying that Heaven had lost another angel; Castiel lost the majority of his grace, leaving him borderline human. that would leave an impression that Heaven had in fact, lost an angel.  
> \- fake Dean was constructed by Castiel's subconscious, that's why when Castiel begins to acknowledge that fake Dean isn't real, fake Deans seems to realize this as well
> 
> All the love <3


End file.
